My aim as a parent is to be a type of guardian of the lives that are birthed through me until they are capable of caring for themselves. The choices I have made, or are currently making, are those that I feel strongly about and work for my own family. It’s important to make conscious choices in regards to our families or possibly end up relying on other’s parenting philosophies instead of our own. I am often told that what we plan to do regarding our children and what we will end up doing will vary greatly. This stems from the idea that when we are overwhelmed, we resort to how we were taught by our parents in frustration. By that point it would take much determination to stay true to the parenting ideals made previously, assuming any research and reflection was even attempted beforehand. Although this scenario is quite common, I believe that it can be managed positively by first preparing oneself on how to deal with such overwhelming feelings that may distract from those parenting goals.
There are many reasons why a parent would feel overwhelmed and unfortunately it's the children who suffer from a parent’s lack of emotional control. By practicing positive stress-handling techniques, any situation can be positively overcome and can be turned into a life lesson for all those involved. Children have a way of bringing out the best and worst in a person and those difficult situations are great for learning about oneself and showing them how to deal acceptably with those emotions. Children learn from what they see, and the behaviour we dislike in them and scold them for is behaviour they might have essentially learned from us (yikes!). If we want to change the way we parent in order to raise happy, healthy, successful children, we must first change how we are within ourselves.
Perhaps some reasons parents give up their original choices is due to pressure from others, being unable to meet certain difficulties, or lack of preparation but I strongly believe that nothing worth accomplishing will be easy. It is up to the individual to decide whether the end result, or the journey, is worth the effort.
Love this post... very well said! My whole blog stemmed from the very thing you are talking about. Having a set of values and priorities that I wanted to live by, and realizing that life was getting in the way of actually following through with those. I'm learning to prepare better, 'practice' my stress and parenting skills, and make the time to do what I feel is important for my family.
ReplyDeleteAlso...Thanks so much for your comment on my blog! I've gotten lots of feedback that other women have felt similarly, and its such a testimony to how powerful sisterhood can be if we are supportive and understanding of each other... we're usually in the same boat! :) And finally, I LOVE your tat! It.is.AWESOME. I have one on my right forearm and I'm trying to come up with my design for my left bicep now.