Book Review: Mindful Motherhood

Mindful Motherhood: Practical Tools for Staying Sane During Pregnancy and Your Child's First Year by Cassandra Vieten

When I bought this book before my son was born, I couldn’t have anticipated how useful it would end up being. It provides excellent tools to cultivating awareness of our emotional needs while providing our children with the best expression of our nurturing selves. The mental exercises provided can be practiced within every-day living and improve our ability over time to deal with stressful situations. It also offers insight into the human psyche and all its vulnerabilities while providing a way for us to change destructive thinking patterns and become the mothers we wish to be for our families. This is an essential book to have in every parent’s arsenal.  

Change Starts with Us

My aim as a parent is to be a type of guardian of the lives that are birthed through me until they are capable of caring for themselves. The choices I have made, or are currently making, are those that I feel strongly about and work for my own family. It’s important to make conscious choices in regards to our families or possibly end up relying on other’s parenting philosophies instead of our own.

I am often told that what we plan to do regarding our children and what we will end up doing will vary greatly. This stems from the idea that when we are overwhelmed, we resort to how we were taught by our parents in frustration. By that point it would take much determination to stay true to the parenting ideals made previously, assuming any research and reflection was even attempted beforehand. Although this scenario is quite common, I believe that it can be managed positively by first preparing oneself on how to deal with such overwhelming feelings that may distract from those parenting goals.

There are many reasons why a parent would feel overwhelmed and unfortunately it's the children who suffer from a parent’s lack of emotional control. By practicing positive stress-handling techniques, any situation can be positively overcome and can be turned into a life lesson for all those involved. Children have a way of bringing out the best and worst in a person and those difficult situations are great for learning about oneself and showing them how to deal acceptably with those emotions. Children learn from what they see, and the behaviour we dislike in them and scold them for is behaviour they might have essentially learned from us (yikes!). If we want to change the way we parent in order to raise happy, healthy, successful children, we must first change how we are within ourselves.

Perhaps some reasons parents give up their original choices is due to pressure from others, being unable to meet certain difficulties, or lack of preparation but I strongly believe that nothing worth accomplishing will be easy. It is up to the individual to decide whether the end result, or the journey, is worth the effort.

A Different Kind of Education

Some days I am overwhelmed by all the things I now need to consider for the benefit of my son and yet I wouldn’t want my life to be any different. The cheeky monkey keeps me up at night, vomits all over me several times a day, refuses to be in anyone else’s arms for very long, and bites down on my tender nipples and yet my whole heart pours my love onto him infinitely. It is baffling really. If anyone else did all that I would smite them. I think his goofy smile helps a little too. What has been concerning me lately is the question of his education. I know it’s somewhat early to be worried about this, however it will be pressing eventually.

In my own experience, our school system is failing our children miserably. My highest ideal of what I want for my children is not nurtured in the typical school atmosphere and I am adamant that I must find an alternative. While in college for Early Childhood Education, I started noticing how what we know now about the psychology of learning and how children’s early experiences shape their future development are rarely taken into account in typical educational programming. The type of person our school system creates does not correlate with my idea of an ethical, intelligent, successful, healthy, and happy person. I found that creativity and the practical application of knowledge is rarely utilized, and instead children are taught to memorize ‘facts’ and spit them back out and be graded on ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ answers. Life is rarely black and white, and problem solving skills (which requires creativity) is much more valuable than being able to recite information from wrote that is forgotten as soon as the test is done.

I have no problem with the subject matters themselves; maths, science, language writing/reading skills, etc. It is the FORMAT in which they are presented and used is what is not working. I found school typically kills the desire to learn by force-feeding information without teaching how to use said information in the real world. The information would be better used if in the case of mathematics, children learned certain concepts by creating the very things those equations would be used on instead of practicing abstract math. It would be far more interesting to actually BUILD something than to learn the theory and then be tested in an exam. It would also stick far better and far longer if tied to EXPERIENCE. I’d be damned if asked to dredge up math equations on the spot today in almost any application although I’ve passed all my courses throughout elementary and high school.

I don’t want the same for my son. I want him to be excited about learning new things and applying it to his life and reflecting on it, not dreading the exams that typically follow any learning in the typical school system. It’s not healthy. The only school I have read into so far that comes close to what I like is the Waldorf school system. Otherwise it looks like I’m homeschooling or even UNSCHOOLING my children. And people thought I was radical before!

Some linkages on the matter:

Unschooling Education that unleashes the creative spirit.By Jeremiah Vandermeer

Unschooling: Creating Our Own Structure

What is Unschooling? by Earl Stevens

Radical Unschooling

Why We Unschool

A Terrible Pregnancy Series

What To Expect When You’re Expecting : AVOID AT ALL COSTS

I bought this series when I was a young teen, curious about the birth process and I was left feeling paranoid about it all because the authors have what I like to call a ‘fear-based’ approach. Virtually all of the modern hysteria associated with pregnancy can be traced back to this nightmarish excuse of a book. I found it insulting to my intelligence to be honest. 

The book is comprehensive but the information is dated; lacking in current research, and inattentive to the psychological aspect of pregnancy. It has a bossy and condescending tone, using guilt as its main weapon to turn the most natural experience into a serious medical condition. It is full of idiotic statements and scare tactics and the majority of the "information," it seems, is about all the discomforts of pregnancy and none of the joys.

The book only offers the hospital model of care and even downplays the idea of birthing naturally as if it would be foolish to attempt. It mentions some birthing alternatives at the beginning of the book but offers no tangible information, pretty much dismissing them as a possible course of action. They don’t even mention homebirth at all. The book also constantly harps on the Pregnancy Diet as the cure to all ills and makes women feel guilty for eating even one spoonful of icecream. Seriously, there are many more studies out there linking maternal stress to pregnancy complications and later development problems than there are studies linking the consumption of icecream to catastrophic pregnancy failure. Again, important psychological issues are not even addressed. 

I was especially shocked at the cavalier attitude towards interventions and c-sections. It applauds the use of pain medication without outlining the risks to mother and baby claiming it to be in the best interest of both parties such as when labor is long and complicated claiming: “..pain stress can lead to chemical imbalances that can interfere with contractions, compromise blood flow to the fetus, and exhaust the mother, reducing her ability to push effectively.” This is complete bullocks, because they’re insinuating that it is the birth ‘trauma’ that is causing the stress and not all the other interventions they did previously that lead to the dreaded ‘failure to progress’. It is a false statement and should make you question the validity of the other so called ‘information’ they are giving throughout the book.

Even more insulting is the emphasis on watching your figure in the section dealing with the father’s concerns. They even offer a list of suggestions for the father-to-be who wants to keep his wife trim and slim post-pregrancy. It makes it seem like gaining weight during pregnancy is a sin when it is in fact what you’re aiming for since you’re growing a child! If my husband pestered me on my weight I would deck him, I don’t know about you guys.  

All in all, I would suggest picking up a book that will treat you like an intelligent, thinking woman by arming you with the facts you need to make the best possible choices for your baby. This book does not. It doesn’t even go in depth in any of the issues they do choose to mention such as cesarean sections which they barely touch upon and don’t even look at the physiological or psychological ramifications of it. There are WAY better books out there for moms-to-be. 

Some great reads:

Birthing From Within- Pam England/Rob Horowitz

Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth -Henci Goer.

 

Ina May's Guide To Childbirth - By Ina May Gaskin

Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering: A Doctor's Guide To Natural Childbirth And Gentle Early Parenting Choices - Sarah Buckley

 
Orgasmic Birth: Your Guide to a Safe, Satisfying, and Pleasurable Birth Experience - Elizabeth Davis, Debra Pascali-Bonaro 

 

Childbirth Without Fear- Grantly Dick Read

Keeping My Sons Intact

*Intactivism Alert; I feel strongly against the tradition of circumcising infant males and this post conveys this and so those who feel otherwise might be offended*

"Our children do not *belong* to us; they are not our possessions, nor our property (as are cars, furniture and handbags). We are entrusted with their care. There is a deep and profound difference." ~Lana Zimprich

When I was young I thought that circumcising boys was the ‘norm’ and didn’t question it until much later. I even remember fearing giving birth to a boy and having to stand by and watch this obviously painful procedure being done to my baby. Like many, I was led to believe that it was medically necessary and even culturally preferable, until I researched more into it and learned otherwise.

My research brought me to face many myths surrounding circumcision, most of which are deeply ingrained in our culture despite having the medical ‘benefits’ long discounted by even the medical associations that were initially promoting them. Soon it became apparent to me that it is a grossly unnecessary procedure that really has no tangible benefits other than it makes men’s genitals more appealing to some people. It is essentially a cultural tradition that has been parading as a medical necessity when it is really elective cosmetic surgery. Once I learned this truth, I decided even before I knew I was even carrying a son that I would leave him as he was born: perfectly healthy and whole.

Today many parents still practice this form of genital mutilation (as stated according to the Canadian Children's Rights Council) due to misinformation about its implications and the mistaken belief that it is preferable socially. If given the appropriate information, I believe more parents would chose to keep their sons intact because in my mind no conscious parent would alter their children in such a profound way if they knew the truth. I cannot fathom how people rationalise taking away a functioning part of a person’s anatomy without their consent, especially if they were made aware of how unnecessary it is.

That being said, here are some of the reasons why I chose to keep my son intact apart from the obvious lack of medical need:

“It’s Easy to Care For” People mistakenly believe the circumcised penis is cleaner because smegma is reduced and that an intact penis requires constant cleaning from birth onwards. The fact is throughout childhood there is really no need to wash since little smegma is produced and forcibly retracting it before it separates naturally, usually by the end of puberty, will cause tearing and can become infected which might require circumcision to correct as a last resort. Besides, smegma is actually beneficial, helping keep the glans moist and facilitating sexual intercourse by acting as a lubricant. Once the foreskin is retractable, simply washing it with warm water while in the shower is all it requires. Quite simple really!

“It Supports Individualism” Many seem to think that a circumcised penis is preferred by women and that an intact one is primed for ridicule, especially in the ‘locker room’ scenario. First of all, it is taboo to be caught observing another man’s privates, and second it’s essentially inconsequential, never mind extremely personal how a man looks naked. It is up to each individual what they prefer. Women don’t necessarily desire a circumcised penis over an intact one, just like how some prefer certain body types, and to generalise what women like is inappropriate. Genitalia, like any physical feature, can take many forms even in its natural intact state.

Instead of changing a child’s appearance in such a private way to assuage the fear of them being alienated by their peers or potential spouses, it would be far more positive to teach them to accept bodily diversity and to build up their self-esteem to handle such teasing and bullying in a mature manner. Our youth today face many self-esteem issues that have at their roots the belief that they are not good enough so let us prove to them that they are by accepting their differences from birth onwards.

“It is the Norm” According to recent studies, Canada has a 31.9% circumcision rate, meaning 68.9% of new baby boys are intact. Currently, Alberta is the highest province with approximately 44% circumcised and Nova Scotia is the lowest with only 6%. The circumcision rate for males worldwide is about 15%. Meaning most men are left intact making it the norm rather than being circumcised, despite what many believe.

“It Upholds Children’s Rights” Unlike adult circumcision where the patient is making a personal choice to have himself circumcised, most are performed on children who are not capable of making an informed decision. They are having a functioning part of their body permanently removed for cosmetic reasons by someone outside of themselves. If this would happen to an adult, their rights would be considered violated. When we choose to keep our sons intact, we are giving them power over their own bodies and telling them that we respect them as they are. We are teaching them to honour themselves and to take responsibility for caring for their bodies. It is their right to be able to make decisions over their appearances, especially if they are to be permanent. If my son wants to be circumcised once he’s reached the age of majority, I will support him. It’s HIS body after all. However he will have pay for the cosmetic surgery like any other consenting adult.

“It Circumvents Early Trauma” Some erroneously believe that infants don't feel pain or have working memories but according to recent studies in developmental psychology and neuroscience, this myth is discounted completely. Not only do they feel pain and at least remember it on a subconscious level, they feel it more acutely than adults because their brains are not yet developed enough to rationalize their experiences. Some studies even suggest that early painful experiences lead to a change in their fragile central nervous system and affect their neurochemistry.

Parents of circumcised boys sometimes claim that their child was unaffected by the trauma due to lack of crying and simply lay there with their eyes wide open, or even sleeping during the procedure. The reactions they’re describing are exactly that of what a typical human in severe shock would exhibit. The process of psychological dissociation from trauma occurs when the experience goes beyond the coping abilities of the victim. Infants may exhibit: no crying at all or excessive crying, little emotional expression, strong preference to face outward when being carried afterwards, lack of focused eye contact, chronic postures or movements, cold and clammy hands/feet, restlessness, hyper vigilance, AMNESIA, tremors, fainting or dizziness, pupils fixed very large or small, dryness in eyes, dry mouth, tight jaws, difficulty breathing, and digestive upsets. In short; they are so traumatised that they essentially shut down. This can affect the parent-child bond as well as cause breastfeeding issues.

This whole scenario can be avoided by allowing our sons to remain whole and not subjecting them to surgery mere days after birth, when they need our protection the most.

"I believe no man would allow his beloved son to be circumcised if he were in touch with the terror he experienced during his own." John Breeding

“It Contributes to Ending All Genital Mutilation” Female circumcision is typically viewed as more horrific than male circumcision because it is usually done under unhygienic conditions rather than in a hospital however, both are classed as genital mutilation by the International Coalition for Genital Integrity. Both forms of circumcision remove functional, normal tissue, cause extreme pain, permanently disfigure the genitals, and permanently damage the sexual response. And in most cultures where female circumcision is performed, male circumcision is also performed with equally unhygienic instruments. By choosing to keep our sons intact, we are sending the message that we no longer support this horrific tradition and eventually it will become a thing of the past, for both genders. People have the right to keep the bodies they were born with unaltered.

Those were some of the reasons I chose to keep my son intact, minus the medical reasons that could be found in the links provided below. I feel strongly for preserving children’s rights as people and ensuring they keep their genital integrity is one of them.

Here are some wonderful links on the subject:

The position of the Canadian Children's Rights Council

Protect Your Uncircumcised Son: Expert Medical Advice for Parents

The Canadian Paediatric Society

The Intactivism Pages

Circumcision Information Pages

National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Centers

Fabulous Family Update 03 - 6 Months

It has been a whirlwind of activity since December and much has changed over the last few months with us and Leo. With all the goodies we brought back from celebrating Yule, we transformed our living area into a play area complete with colourful foam mats, toy bins, a toddler craft table, and shelves of children’s books. Play dates are going to get much more interesting for the kiddies now that it’s like a daycare in my house! We only leave a small bin of toys for Leo out at any given time, rotating on a weekly basis to provide novelty since he gets bored with toys rather quickly. Luckily for us we were given a bunch as gifts so we’re set on that score for another month or so. Already some of the more ‘baby’ toys don’t interest him anymore and we have to move on to more stimulating objects.

Right now his favourites are stackables, blocks, balls, and hard cover books. He understands the concept of sliding the ring onto the post with his stackable toy because he attempts this over and over again but with a 50% chance of success. He sometimes forgets to let go of the ring once it’s onto it so he slides it back off again. We have three different kinds of stackables, the first being the plain plastic ring one which he uses right now, a more difficult one that is a cone shape structure that links together by different shape indentations that need to align properly, and a wooden stackable whose holes are tiny and so need more precise stacking. I’ve tried all of them with Leo to see what he would do but he gets frustrated with the last two because his motor skills aren’t practiced enough to link them as he wants so he gets really upset. It’s important to provide toys that stimulate but are still at the child’s developmental level so that their frustration doesn’t override their desire to learn and play. Right now the first toy provides the right amount of difficulty for Leo while providing a sense of accomplishment when he does manage to link it together.

With the blocks he enjoys knocking down the structures I build for him with a satisfied “AHH!” as he swings his arms wildly at it. He also likes to throw another block at it to knock it over and he tries to re-build it by placing one block on top of another with little success so far but he gets the idea. At times he just bangs them together to make noise, something he does with other toys as well. As for the books, he likes to turn the pages but seems to get frustrated with them for a reason I have no clue as of yet so I have to watch him closely to take it away once he starts getting angry at it because it puts him in a bad mood. He either gets excited when I read Eric Carle’s ‘Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?’ book or gets upset. He is strange sometimes. He’s a smart little dude though, since he experiments with his toys like trying to stack different toys together or placing toys in other toys. He’s learning through trial and error. He’s also starting to get the concept of ‘object permanence’ since I’ve observed that when a toy rolls behind another or I place it there, he follows it and knocks the blocking toy over to get to it.

Another ‘toy’ he likes are mirrors. He tries to give kisses to his reflection, which he also does to pictures of people in books too. He is a very affectionate little guy. I tend to smother him with hugs and kisses which he seems to like because he now gives me wet baby kisses and hugs me and Adam all the time as well. He is free with his baby cuddles, leaning his head on our shoulders when we carry him in arms. When either of us leaves the room, he starts yelling “Aiie!!!” over and over while flailing his arms until the person comes back. He looks in the direction the person went until they come back around the corner. It’s also endearing when he tries to jump in my arms when someone else is holding him because he wants me. Recently he’s been practicing getting on all fours and trying to climb just about everything, including me which he does while saying “mama!” over and over which I think is awesome. If I’m in another room I can sometimes hear him start saying “mama” so I come check and he greets me with a big smile and tries to move in my direction. It warms the cockles of my heart. So do his baby giggles when I tickled his ribs or even laugh myself which he likes to share in the joy with. He is such a happy person.

He has a hilarious sense of humour since he started smacking my boobs while nursing and laughing or pulling off and pinching me to see my reaction. The cheeky monkey! Sometimes he just gets distracted by what’s going on in the room and unlatches over and over again making it a very long nursing session. Lately he’s been nursing more often but for shorter periods, wanting to sit up and play for a few minutes then coming back. I find it annoying because I end up not being able to do anything except entertain him for hours but I suppose that comes with the job. He still likes to nurse sitting up periodically, not really getting much out of it but he finds it entertaining because he giggles throughout. Mostly because I’m perplexed by it I think.

We’ve been offering him solids for a while now but he isn’t all that interested in eating them. We tried giving him peas but all he did was squish them between his thumb and index finger. I also offered him a peach puree but he wasn’t interested in that either. He loves apples though, always reaching for them when I eat them. He holds them in his hands and uses his two bottom teeth to scrape some of the pulp off and sucks on the juices. We’ve decided to follow the baby-lead solids philosophy, allowing him to dictate what solids goes in his mouth to allow him to follow his natural feeding inclinations. That way he learns to listen to his body’s hunger cues and also works on his self-feeding skills rather than just sit there like a blob opening his mouth for food like a hungry hippo. He likes to control what goes in his mouth anyways and refuses to accept food he hasn’t held in his hands first. At his age he doesn’t need the nutrition; my milk provides that, so he mostly just wants to experiment with tastes and textures. I’m not too excited about solid poos and the way they smell anyways so there is no rush.

When we went to the clinic to check to see if he had an ear infection brewing because he was playing with his ears (which he didn’t so that was relieving), we had him weighed and measured. It seems that the Wii Fit isn’t accurate because it claimed he was 4 pounds heavier than what he really was which is actually 19 pounds rather than 23. So now we know not to use that anymore. He measures 2 feet, 4 inches in height so his old car seat would have been too short for him anyways so the purchase of a convertible car seat was not premature. He much prefers his new one anyways because he sits more upright in it so he can see more and play with his toys. He’s much better in the car now, usually entertaining himself or falling asleep right away which is a blessing compared to how he was his first few months of life. I can even ride in the front now with Adam since we got a car mirror that we can see him in and vice versa. Makes travelling much nice since the heated seats are in the front only and Alberta is ridiculously cold.

I have a thought that Leo might be walking or at least furniture cruising by the summer since he pulls himself up on our laps and holds onto furniture or our arms now. He almost gets onto all fours but still can’t seem to figure out what to do with his legs. When on his stomach he just spins around in a circle and gets frustrated and throws a baby tantrum, lying on his face and crying into the floor. This usually requires a cuddle to make him feel better. Because of this, I’m starting to think of ways to make his environment safer for him to explore since I don’t want to be a ‘no!’ parent, wrongfully expecting him to obey my commands which is unthinkable for his developmental level and harmful for his developing sense of curiosity. I would rather make our home safe for him to discover new things and manipulate them to practice his skills and to develop a healthy self-esteem and love of learning. This requires some creativity as to where to put things but I’ve always loved to re-arrange furniture and things, as some people already know.

So apart from creating a play area in our living room, we’ve moved the single mattress in our bedroom so that he gets his own sleeping space while still being in our room so that the transition to his own bedroom eventually while be smoother. I found that he sleeps better when he’s got ample room to move around (as do I!) so he sleep on the single mattress on the floor beside our bed, making it easy for me to roll on to nurse him and then climb back into our bed to sleep. In the mornings when he wakes up he just looks over and sees us beside him and smiles, wriggling over to us and tries to climb our mattress (which only sits on a box spring on the floor). I like the idea that he never has worry about waking up alone and afraid because we’re right there with him. I also get to sneak away in the morning far easier to have my coffee while letting my boys sleep in, while as before he would wake up from me shifting position thus foiling my plans. I’m still thinking of ways of place our furniture for when he is able to crawl around since I don’t want him rolling off the bed and getting into our things while we’re sleeping but that won’t be for a while yet, hopefully.

Meanwhile our tele room is pretty ghetto looking without anything to sit on so we moved our rocking chair in there for Adam to use while gaming and I just sit on the floor on a blanket with Leo. We’re looking into getting a futon in there that can double as a guest bed. We moved our tele in there so that Leo isn’t subjected to too much screen time while he plays because the distraction it isn’t healthy for his developing brain and it provides me with a quiet space for when I have play dates with other mums. Our home feels more like home now that we have furniture. Our last apartment was pretty sad looking. In the new year I want to keep my eye out for cool things on kijiji to transform our house into a veritable playground for Leo and his friends. I would like to eventually open a humble day home while we are living here to bring in more income and provide social stimulation for Leo.

There are many interesting things in store for us this year and I can’t wait to get them all underway. I am grateful that Adam took a few months off for parental leave to help me around the house and with Leo so that I can adequately plan and organise some the new projects I am interested in starting. It’s also nice to get some time to myself during the day and for Leo to spend time with his Daddy since I have a feeling that Adam will be gone a lot next year. Until that happens I will take the much needed break and milk it for all its worth!

Procrastination Is Just One of my Many Qualities

When I first began this blog, I was so gung ho about writing every week at the least, regaling you all with my shenanigans as they unfolded. However, life happens and blogging takes the backseat to doing things like sleeping, playing with my baby and of course, Facebook.

Seriously, that social networking site is like crack cocaine.

While writing Yule cards to all my eagerly anticipating recipients in December, I mused about all that has changed for us in the past year. Getting engaged and having a baby is a pretty big deal. It is also exhausting. Wonderful, but very time-consuming. Hence the lack of quirky blog entries. So I’ve decided that in the new year I would like to make the effort to find the time to write more. I greatly enjoy it and it makes for a nice account of my life as it unfolds in all its glory. If only Leo would cooperate. Apparently I’m not allowed to become absorbed in my writing while he is conscious because the attention is drawn away from him. Babies, eh?

Another musing I’ve had lately is about all the cool parenting stuff I wanted to do with Leo that just didn’t happen for one reason or another. Such as cloth diapering coupled with elimination communication. I would like to blame the birth for the tardy beginning but I must also take responsibility for not being diligent with the prefolds – that and Leo hates them. He pees so often that I have to change him every 20 min or so, which means fiddling with the prefolds for the most part of the day. He was not impressed and expressed this by growling at me and being all-round moody with me during the entire diapering trial. I tried all-in-ones and he loved them however since I live in an apartment building and have to pay for laundry, it was not economical. I figure I’ll prepare myself better for the next baby. Hopefully by the time the next one comes about, we’ll have our own washer and dryer. It gets expensive washing diapers when each load costs me 4$. We live, we learn.

Speaking of learning, Leo has figured out how to roll onto his belly and promptly flung himself off our bed yesterday much to my, and his, surprise. No damage done, but he definitely needed some snuggles to calm down after that little trick. Looks like I can no longer leave him on a surface unsupervised while I go do something needed like relieve my bladder. Funny thing is, I was lying beside him nursing him at the time but dozed off and then there you have it. The little monkey was trying to sneak away while he had me under his nursing-high spell. Must practice being more vigilant it seems. No matter, it’s not like I could have used those few naps anyways.

To carry on with my procrastinating theme, I’ve also been neglecting my exercise program, including my yoga stretches and boy do I feel it! I am haggard and creaky and getting pockets of fat in areas that I’m particularly cross about. The thing is, it’s difficult to get a good workout session when I have to pause and entertain a baby. You would think contorting into strange forms and making grunting noises while weight lifting would be the essence of hilarity, but alas, Leo and I do not share the same sense of humor. He’s more like his father, enjoying raspberries on his belly or any variation of fart noises. Rather difficult to do while in WarriorI Pose. On a good note though, I have plotted out a fitness routine and got some protein supplements safe for breastfeeding mamas. I just have to find the time to implement it. I solemnly swear that I will get back in shape by the summer! Adam will be taking parental after the holidays so I will then have a sitter by default so I can focus on my health. I have to get my body ready for baby number two!

That’s right peoples! MORE BABIES! After much thought and prodding by the hubby, we decided we wanted our first batch of kiddies to be close in age. I say first batch because I want at least 4 but I also want to continue my education before my courses become obsolete, difficult to do if I have my arms full with younglings. I’m aiming for a girl but we shall see what nature provides us with. I’m totally excited about dressing her up as a strawberry. I think this has to do with my obsession with Strawberry Shortcake as a child....

The new year brings lots of awesome projects, and I am eager to get them all underway. Hopefully I won’t allow myself to get distracted too much by shining things and they all get completed. At least partially anyways. I’m also looking into breastfeeding education. I feel very strongly about helping women succeed in doing what they were designed to do with their babies and I see so much misinformation about establishing and maintaining a healthy nursing relationship. This is step one in my overall scheme of becoming an awesome birthing, nursing, attachment parenting advocate! Maybe eventually I’ll have gathered enough credentials to run my own workshops in the hopes of supporting all the ladies out there in making conscious choices and succeeding at them. First I need to figure out how to do it myself....ah the life of a procrastinator.    

Fabulous Family Update – 4 Months

I have just arrived back home from my trip to Ontario and although I had a great time seeing family, I’m glad to be back in my own house with my hubby. This was the first time since Leo has been born that Adam and I have been separated for an extended period (almost 5 weeks). We’ve been separated for several months at a time before and yet this measly month has been the hardest away from him. Leo has learned so much in such a short time that I wished Adam was with us to see the transitions, and yet I loved seeing the wonder in his eyes at noticing the changes.

I was concerned at first that Leo would not recognize Adam and break my hubby’s heart but Leo had no trouble bonding with him again. He is far more comfortable with Adam for extended periods of time than with any other family member (no offense to anybody!). Adam has the knack of making him laugh and giggle without really doing anything other than look at him (I think it’s the eyebrows, shhh!), and intuitively knows when he’s getting restless or upset and tries to make it better. I also love seeing them together, playing like a couple of goofballs. Makes my heart explode into candy.   

During our time away, Leo has definitely developed his lungs; screaming excitedly at random things like Pepsi cans, water bottles, and anything with bushy eyebrows. He’s also obsessed with books, constantly grabbing whatever anyone in his near vicinity is reading, which I’m pretty happy about considering I’m an avid reader myself (although he just tends to lick the pages). At my mother-in-law’s house he discovered his toes and now tries to eat them, succeeding usually at getting his big toe in his mouth like any yoga master could and sucking loudly. Never mind his new talent of blowing milk bubbles down his chin several times a day like a crazy person. He also can hold himself up in an exersaucer  toy and play with the thingamajigs on it. Laughing excitedly has become a daily occurrence as well, finding the most ridiculous things hilarious like blowing raspberries on his belly, or making farting noises. He’s such a funny little person that keeps me entertained for hours.

One thing I have noticed recently about our nursing relationship: there is always some hurdle to get over every month it seems. Right now he’s gotten into the habit of falling asleep while nursing and then somehow aspirating milk into his nose which naturally hurts and makes him cranky. Pisses me right off especially if I had been trying to get him asleep for a few hours since he’s been off-kilter because of his teeth. There are so many silly things that come up while nursing that anyone who isn’t absolutely determined will be put off by the first few challenges. I’m just glad he’s latching properly now, spitting up less and less, and not choking on my boobs amazing ability to shoot out milk like a canon. It has all been worth it and I am proud to say that I intend to keep nursing him until he decides he’s done, whatever the age. I find that my most tender moments with him are when he snuggles up to me to nurse and dozes while still suckling, well, apart from the milk out the nose bit. I can also do without the biting of my nipples when his gums are sore too but I suppose it comes with the territory. He’s kind of cute when he laughs when I cry out and wrestle my boob away from him and he bites down harder, the cheeky monkey.

I’m also amazed at how big he’s gotten in about a month. He’s in clothes for 6-9 month olds and weighs almost 20 pounds. No wonder my back is sore lugging him around. I need to get a wrap I can use to put him on my back because the weight is making me ridiculously front-heavy and it’s starting to really affect me. Never mind that he now fights me in his cloth wrap, trying to launch himself out with his power legs. If I hold him under his arms on the floor, he lunges forward and takes steps to move along and gets real excited about it. I wonder if he’ll skip crawling and go straight to sprinting across the house. Knowing how extreme his Daddy is, it wouldn’t surprise me. I also wouldn’t be surprised if he climbs furniture and jumps off for the sheer thrill of it. “Go big or go home” as Adam would say.

Despite Leo’s new found need to explore his surrounding more, he still loves to cuddle on the couch with me and hum along to whatever I’m singing to him. Today for example, I sang some Queen and he sang along with me and was quite serious about it. I’m going to encourage this so he can serenade me at my birthdays and it will be real cute.

I find that my life is such a flurry of activity that I rarely find the time to sit down and write all the wonderful things I learn and discover about my son but I suppose that’s the point; to experience it and cherish it. I know I’m going to miss these moments when he’s older and wants to go out into the world and leave his mum behind (but he’ll call me every week to update me like a good boy). I’m glad to have Adam’s support to be able to stay at home with Leo and be with him completely during these tender years. I wouldn’t miss it for any career opportunity or educational advancement. Everything else can wait. Once he becomes more independent in his own time, I’ll then focus on other aspects of my life but I feel no rush for it right now. I have my hands full as it is, my goodness.