My Child Within

This week after a requested ultrasound to locate my placenta, I also decided to find out the sex of my child out of curiosity. This was the first ultrasound I’ve had, since I chose to forgo them completely during the pregnancy with my son. So I was a little nervous alongside my excitement. The technician firing up the ultrasound was excited as well because according to her, it is more difficult to clearly see a baby in utero if the mother has excessive belly fat, which I do not, so the picture would be really clear. Firing it up we could clearly see my little baby laying sideways in my womb, face pointing upwards towards the placenta (anterior position: on the front wall of my uterus) with their arms bent on their chest and their legs in the typical foetal position. We could clearly see the spine, the brain, and even individual toes. What was most amazing is that we could even see the tongue moving in and out repeatedly, licking the placenta up above! We had a good giggle over that.

 

Then the technician asked me what my guess was as to the sex, and I replied that I felt that it was a daughter, based on my intuition and the pregnancy dream I had only days ago. She smiled and told me that I was right! Because of how clear the image was, we could clearly tell that there was no extra dangly bits between the legs, and that the umbilical cord was resting on her belly connected to the above placenta. You could clearly see the profile of her face and the structure of her mouth and throat. It was a very interesting experience. 

Coming home I was overjoyed that I would have both a son and a daughter. It also struck me as interesting how Leo had insisted for months that he was going to get a little sister. Maybe he got a heads up before I did! I know that I had been asking the baby for weeks to show itself to me in my dreams like Leo had with no response. About a week before the scheduled ultrasound, I spoke to my baby telling them I would appreciate them telling me themselves what their sex was instead of me finding out from the ultrasound and soon after I finally got my vision dream of a daughter. It was a very simple one, as I was just walking to the store with my son holding my hand and I had a young baby in a sling wrap on my hip that was a little girl. Nothing fancy, but clear enough to show me what I was looking for. 

That night I started going over my list of girl names that consisted of only two names now after much eliminating from my monster list. I was torn between these two names for awhile but there was one that I kept coming back to and it just felt right. So I have decided already on what to name my daughter and being able to think of her with this name makes her more real to me somehow. It also makes me that much more excited about her upcoming birth in January. Now I can focus my energy on preparing our labour and birth together, as well as the supplies I will need for her care afterwards.

The fun really begins!

The Beliefs That Shape My Parenting

**This is an intensely personal post that reveals my spiritual worldview that fuels my motivation to overcome my conditioning and strive to parent consciously. I thought I would share my underlying beliefs that explain why I become so incensed about certain controversial pregnancy/parenting topics and why I push so hard for educated deliberate choices when it comes to our families.**    

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. -- Anonymous

The way that we view ourselves and our place in the world will dictate how we interact with the people and things in our environment. The choices we make for ourselves and our babies reflect our core beliefs about life and the kind of person we want our children to become: consciously or not. Seeing as children learn foremost by observing and imitating those in their environment, how we behave with others and with them will influence the way they think and act the strongest of all. That is why it is important to reflect about our underlying motivations to isolate the thought patterns and core values that affect the way we parent.

  

My evolving spirituality

It may not be obviously apparent, but I have a strong spiritual base from which I parent from that was shaped from years of enquiry into different faiths and worldviews. I still enjoy studying different philosophies and exploring new scientific and psychological research that enrich my understanding about life. It evolves and grows the more I learn about our intricate universe, and this adaptation applies to the way I parent as well; adjusting based on what my son reveals to me of his needs and what I learn about compassionate parenting. It truly is a process, and it involves a lot of personal reflection and growth. It also requires working with my conditioning and changing the subconscious beliefs that deter me from parenting authentically and this is a challenge.

What Parenthood Entails

Foremost one has to decide what exactly parenthood entails and what our beliefs are when it comes to our responsibility as parents. This requires reflection on why we have chosen to become parents, if it was a conscious choice, or why we may believe people have children to begin with and explore those ideas.

For myself, I view parenthood as a sacred calling to investing in future generations for the betterment of our species. Being aware of many of the ills in our society that have affected me personally as a woman has motivated me to reflect on what inherent beliefs we are harboring and teaching our young that are detrimental to the positive growth of our culture. Based on my understanding about how thoughts/beliefs are shaped and where human behaviour stems from, childhood is the key to transforming negative attitudes that influence how we organise ourselves as a society. It is often said that one can measure the mettle of a person by how they treat those they feel are inferior to them. This concept applies wonderfully with how healthy societies are based on how they treat their women and children, who are often marginalised. It is obvious that we are coming from the worldview that women and children are unimportant, and I feel that by empowering both, we can heal many of our societal ills.

How parenting ties in all of this, is that we as parents have the unique opportunity to directly influence history by how we choose to raise our children. The lessons we teach our offspring by the kind of relationship we have with them effects how those children relate to their world and how they function within it. Gandhi was speaking an ultimate truth when he said: “Be the change you want to see in the world.” Which is why making conscious choices about pregnancy, childbirth, and parenthood is an important and sacred endeavor. It requires a deep level of self-reflection and personal growth in order to positively mentor another person. And so my approach to motherhood is very altruistic, as I realise the magnitude of the responsibility of changing the world in my own little way.  

Due to this approach however, I become very incensed when I witness interactions between families that are unhealthy, as I am aware of how those small daily interactions influence a person’s psyche in the long run. I feel that children are valuable and deserve to be treated with dignity and respect, like any other person, but I often notice the opposite due to traditional childrearing practices and this makes me incredibly sad. Women and children in my view are not property, and so should not be subjected to treatment that expresses this. The only life we own is our own and anything else is simply a relationship that must be nurtured. I feel that parenthood is a unique relationship, a stewardship even, of the life that our bodies create and are birthed through us. I don’t believe that those lives belong to us, anymore than my life belongs to anyone else, and so we as parents do not have any ‘right’ to treat our children in harmful ways simply because we are parents. We are responsible for our behaviour towards our children who are their own persons meriting compassionate and equal treatment.

Overcoming Conditioning

The challenge for altruistic parents today is overcoming our programming about parental relationships and how childrearing should be approached. Research into the history of childcare practices throughout the ages will both astound and horrify most people. We have come a long way from performing infanticide and direct child abuse (although this is still present in smaller portions in our particular culture) but the residue of these views about children’s worth and rights are far from eliminated. Many of traditional childrearing practices make use of various forms of coercion, emotional manipulation, and punishment as a means of controlling children’s behaviour and although these practices have been proven to be detrimental to healthy development in research studies, they are still practiced prolifically. They are even present in our education systems which leads to many conscious parents to choose homeschooling if able, in order to avoid that kind of conditioning.

The problem lays in the lack of questioning of the practices that one was raised in. Exploring the possibility that the parents that we love could have inadvertently caused harm is uncomfortable. It also requires us to reflect on our own weaknesses/faults and find their root causes, which most people do not delve into even superficially as it means confronting our egos, a powerful force. There is nothing easy about personal growth as it means being honest with ourselves about all aspects of our personalities. What must be understood is that condemning our parents is not necessary in order to positively influence our own personal growth. Simply acknowledging the issues and choosing to behave differently with our families will do. The adage of ‘once I know better, I do better’ is a good motto to have. It makes no rational sense to continue to parent the way we were parented simply to assuage their egos about the choices they have made for us while under their care. Their regrets are for them to process, not for us to protect.

That being said, some do not even consider questioning the status quo (which is a conditioned attitude) because the desire to be accepted within the community is deeply ingrained. It is a survival mechanism. Even severally abused women and children will defend their oppressors vehemently because they become emotionally tied to them, despite the harmful treatment. It is all they know and understand. The depths of the psychological implications of this are beyond the scope of this post but looking into issues surrounding abuse give insight as to why parents carry on behaviours that are harmful simply because they were raised in it.

So for those who take notice and wish to change the way they parent their own children are faced with unique challenges, because they must pioneer behaviours that they have not cultivated themselves. There are many discussion online about some of the issues parents face when trying to move from traditional parenting behaviours to what is often referred to as ‘gentle parenting’ or ‘conscious parenting’. There are a myriad of books one can also purchase about different disciplining techniques based on various philosophies but wading through them without having a firm foundation of what one believes about what parenting means to them can be confusing to explore. To change something so deeply ingrained requires constant vigilance and personal re-evaluation, which is no easy feat. It is much simpler to not question anything or oneself and just live on automatic, even when interacting with our children. But how else is change to occur if someone does not make the effort? Every little bit counts and if we teach our children that personal growth is a worthy endeavor they will carry on the positive changes in their lives too, making our world a better place little by little too.

The Courage It Takes

Even before my husband and I decided to start a family, I had consciously chosen to confront myself ruthlessly in the way I was to interact with my family. I enjoy questioning the status quo and breaking barriers myself, as I find it thrilling rather than anxiety-producing like many others do. I am tenacious in my aspiration for a better environment and this determination helps me conquer my own fears around motherhood and seek to transform them into positive learning experiences. This attitude also motivates me to publicly advocate for healthier practices in maternity care and childrearing, and not only within my own family. I truly believe than everyone is capable of personal growth and I invite those who are brave enough to take the challenge to do so as well.

How do you approach parenthood? What shaped these beliefs? What are you aiming for in your parental relationships?

A Vagina By Any Other Name....

vagina (n.)

1680s, from L. vagina "sheath, scabbard" (pl. vaginae), from PIE *wag-ina- (cf. Lith. voziu "ro cover with a hollow thing"), from root *wag- "to break, split, bite." Probably the ancient notion is of a sheath made from a split piece of wood (see sheath). A modern medical word; the Latin word was not used in an anatomical sense in classical times.

The word vagina is derived from a term that means "sheath", indicating that it exists only for men, which we know is not true. I'm not offended by the word but it would be nice if the medical community would recognize that women aren't beholden to men in every aspect, especially their yonis!~ Lemissa Vaughan

Despite the outrage some women express over not using the clinical terms, I do not find using the medical nomenclature to be empowering as they were not created to be aesthetically pleasing but to represent a very dry expression of what a woman’s sex involves. That being said, often the terms are not even used properly with the word ‘vagina’ often misused as an umbrella statement for all that encompasses our sex when technically it only refers to a portion of our internal structure, with ‘vulva’ being more accurate to use in typical conversations. Outside of this, I am offended by the slang terms used in our culture for our genitalia because they are used derogatively and not to express the awesome power that we women naturally have because of our physiology. Over the centuries and around the world, other terms have been created that have a poetic flair to them that evoke a sense of beauty and awe in the female body and I thought I would share some of the alluring names that women have shared with me. There’s nothing bland about what our sexual organs are capable of so why not give them the pizzazz they deserve?

Children and Negative Parental Comments

Prompted by a post by another blogger, I am also bothered by the negative comments parents make about their children while in their presence and feel that more consciousness needs to be developed around how words impact others. 

What I am referring to are those exasperated comments like “he is such a brat”, “she’s over dramatic”, “they’re driving me crazy”, “I’m glad school’s started again so I can get away from them”; to entire stories about how a certain child misbehaved and how much it frustrated them. We all have thoughts along those lines at some point when we feel that our own boundaries have been pressed and our patience stretched however expressing it in the presence of our children is where the problem lies.  

These types of comments usually stem from some degree of frustration on our part, which we are certainly entitled to, however there is a time and a place to vent about the struggles of parenthood but it is not appropriate to do so around the very children themselves. This should be obvious. It directly impacts how they form an understanding about themselves, just like we do when we overhear mean gossip about us or even positive compliments. Children are no different. It really is a form of emotional manipulation/abuse to try and shame an overhearing child into certain behaviour by using spiteful comments. It is hurtful, demeaning, and petty. Not exactly qualities most parents want to be attributed with. 

Children are people with the same emotional needs that we have, but this seems to be often overlooked or directly dismissed by some adults with little understanding about human nature. Despite what some believe, children don’t ‘get over it’, they actually internalise it and build their sense of self around it. Even our tone of voice expresses disdain, disapproval, dislike, etc, and even babies pick up on this. It is why when infants are distressed the typical advice given is for caregivers to adopt a calming presence so they learn that everything is okay and are soothed. It works the other way around too. This problem is not age-restricted. This sort of negative feedback affects children just as powerfully as it affects us adults, though we may be better at hiding it publicly.     

Refusing to really take notice of how it really impacts them is denial at its fullest. It is hard to accept that what we say is actually being processed when it may seem like we are being ignored most of the time but just because a person does not react in the way that is expected does not mean they did not acknowledge that internally.

So take heed: let us watch our words and keep our mama drama for our friends online or in a private space that is away from those impressionable children that could be hurt by it. It is just common decency.

Unassisted Birthing

I believe that planning to UC is a very personal choice, and not one done lightly. There are many circumstances that a woman would be compelled to birth on her own with only a select few people to accompany her. Having a licensed midwife or doctor present does not guarantee a positive birth outcome any more than not having them there guarantees complications. It depends on the birthing woman and her child and their health history as well as their attitude and understanding about the birth process. I found that the women who chose to birth on their own (which does not necessarily mean alone, but simply without licensed medical personnel) either had negative previous birth experiences, or they possessed a trust in their bodies as they were designed and did their own research. Or maybe a bit of both.

Birthing without a doctor or a licensed nurse-midwife seems alien to many because we are taught that it is dangerous to do so otherwise and often the explanation of infant and mother mortality and its relation to the dark ages is used as a scare tactic. Any research done on the history of obstetrics (which many uc moms are apt to do) will reveal that many ‘dangers’ in birth occurred after it became handled medically to begin with. It is hygienic, economical, and social factors that actually contributed to dangers in women birthing and not that they were not attended by ‘trained’ professionals. Today when women choose to UC, similar support is given by the people they choose to include in their birth journey; it all depends on what the woman is comfortable with.

They make informed decisions about what they feel in their deepest hearts is what is right for themselves and their babies and not simply rely on what they are told (or not told) by their medical professionals. There is misinformation abound in the media and even worse, in the medical community that we so often rely on for our well-being. It is paramount that women seek out answers from various sources and make a decision after having learned about all possible options, especially when it comes to deciding on a course of action for dealing with ‘complications’. Being informed on the causes, how to prevent them, finding various ways of handling them appropriately, and being accountable for that choice afterwards is the responsibility of the parents.

All too often people blame their doctors when things to awry but they are simply doing what they’ve been trained to do: panic at any deviation from their norm and treat it like a medical emergency, adopting the quickest course of action possible. It’s not always the most effective, or desired choice, but by placing your trust in their decision-making abilities, you’re essentially accepting the outcome. I believe all knowledge is worth having even if you trust your medical team so that if there are conflicting opinions, you’re armed to defend your choices. Women who UC choose to take full responsibility for their births instead of relying on other people to GIVE them the birth they desire. In that, they prepare themselves thoroughly for any ‘issues’ and are willing to transfer to a hospital if it goes beyond their capabilities. In that, perhaps, they are more responsible than given credit.

***

I am currently considering a UC out of necessity myself, as the gross shortage of midwives in my area means that I will most likely have to birth in a hospital instead of having a supported homebirth and so then be subjected to the same abuse that happened to me with my son’s birth and I refuse to accept this. After researching into alternative birthing options, I came upon the concept of simply birthing myself and I was like WOAH! YOU CAN DO THAT?!!! I then proceeded to educate myself on how to do just that.

I looked into the clinical research behind routine tests and birthing procedures and came to an interesting conclusion: obstetrical “special knowledge”, just like midwifery practices is accessible to everyone now. They learned about birth the same way that anyone could: by studying and observing other’s births. With the level of access to information nowadays, anyone can find and observe normal births through online videos, by reading labour/birth accounts, order medical research and midwifery texts, and locate alternative birthing knowledge via books in libraries and bookstores. One can also directly contact local mothers who have had various birth experiences and gain their direct knowledge about the process. More and more midwives for example are writing books containing the techniques they’ve used over the years to deal with typical labouring complications that any woman can learn and use. The information is out there for those who take the time to look and educate themselves. I found it easily enough myself.

Freebirthing isn’t for everyone though, even with this knowledge. Some women feel more comfortable in hospital settings, or having midwives and doulas present. The mind/body connection in birth is too important to ignore and women need to do what makes them feel comfortable and safe. That’s the point of having different maternity care options. Women should still educate themselves about what normal birth looks like though, so they can make informed choices about their care, no matter their birth setting or who they choose to attend them.

It is not saying that I am braver than the next woman, or more foolhardy for considering taking full responsibility for my birth, it’s that I have come to these decisions because I now know and trust myself. I believe that no one knows my body as I do, and no one knows how to give birth to my baby like my body does. It somehow knew how to grow this baby, so it certainly knows how to birth it as well. I ignored my instincts during my last birth; my need for privacy and having support persons who were without fear or anxiety that could hinder my mind/body connection. I can honestly say now that I did not prepare myself or them well enough and suffered the consequences of that choice.

My considerations for this birth experience are based on my health history, my current lifestyle, my beliefs, and my research. Would I suggest this to everyone? Certainly not. I do however have faith in the options I am choosing now because they were done consciously. I am also aware of my limitations and have prepared for the possibility of a hospital transfer if need be. There are no guarantees in birth, that’s the truth.

Have you ever heard of the option to freebirth? Have you freebirthed before, or are planning to? Share your experiences!

Good Housekeeping is NOT a Sign of a Wasted Life

 What I’ve often seen floating around the internet is the concept that there are more important things in life than housecleaning. Anyone can easily find quotes along the lines that a clean house is the sign of a life unlived, or that it is drudgery and boring to partake in, or some even seem altruistic with dainty poems created to emphasize how being with your family/friends is more important than cleaning up after them (or yourself) that seem to go viral every once in a while on social networking sites. Stated that way, very few could argue differently. However when you look closely at what home maintenance supports and the consequences of neglecting the chores associated with it, it is also easy to realise that devaluing such an integral part of our lives does not hold any benefits for anyone really.

Many people are aware of how teaching children to do chores is important, but sometimes those same adults forget their own responsibilities to their home maintenance and in avertedly teach their children the direct opposite: that caring for the home environment is not important. A typical complaint from many parents is that they have to cajole, beg, or even bribe their children to help out around the house, but parents themselves can be projecting negative attitudes about those activities without really being conscious of it. Perception is everything. When home maintenance is approached as a chore or as a punishment, rather than as a worthy activity, it is no wonder that people (including children) make excuses for avoiding it.

Once you realise the importance of a clean environment, the satisfaction from creating it naturally follows. Take a cue from toddlers who just LOVE to do chores around the house, and find some joy in caring for the home, some satisfaction in the process. If the running thought in our head is that it is boring and unnecessary, we are less likely to do it properly or regularly. We may even start stating that our space isn’t ‘that’ bad, or that those who express discomfort in it are just being pricks, or claim that we’re too busy to take proper care of our things, or propose a myriad of other possible excuses. The reality is that it is a necessary part of life, and it IS possible to maintain a household properly without devoting your life to housekeeping if you properly organize yourself and adopt healthy living habits. The crux of the matter is developing the skills to be organized and proactive in investing in the care of the home.

A cluttered and dirty home adds considerable stress to the family, even if it is not fully recognized. Some of the more obvious health consequences are the presence of allergens and pests which contribute to lowering immune function and promoting illnesses. The less obvious is the emotional impact the lack of organization creates in the psyche which can lead to anxiety/depression, lethargy, and stress. There is a reason why those individuals who are diagnosed with compulsive hoarding behaviours are those who also have severe anxiety/emotional issues: as it signals deeper conflicts within their psyches that manifests physically in the way they neglect their personal environments. As within; so without. That is why when these individuals take the steps towards organizing their physical environments, their emotional also benefits and are then able to make progress in their personal growth as well. One reflects the other in a complex intermingling of elements.

When a house is well cared for: organized, peaceful, and reflecting the family’s unique personalities, it creates a sense of belonging, of safety, and of welcome. It becomes a place of refuge from the world to recharge in. And when a person refuels their emotional meters, they are more capable of dealing with life’s stresses and overcoming them instead of collecting emotional baggage that clutters the mind and affects productivity and personal growth. It’s all very rational when you consider how those in cluttered spaces have to spend extra energy in locating items, finding spots to even put items, making use of items before they expire, replacing lost items and end up buying duplicates which wastes money unnecessarily, etc. It makes much more practical sense to have a designated place for items in the rooms that they are most used in so that they do not take up space elsewhere and become a an eye-sore or dangerous obstacle in some cases. A person is also more likely to even start projects if the tools are properly organized and are inviting rather than stowed away or scattered throughout the house (which is a tool implemented in daycares for example, with toys specifically placed to invite play). Otherwise it just collects dust and is useless to everyone.

There is also the important social benefit to keeping house, and that is that friends and family enjoy visiting and spending time there. Many people underestimate the power of a relaxing atmosphere and take for granted (or devalue altogether) how it affects a guest’s mood and level of enjoyment. For me personally, I limit my visits to extremely disorganized houses because it stresses me out. I do not feel relaxed and chatty when I am having to be hyper vigilant about stepping in something gross or harmful, or being concerned about my child’s safety and health. I may love the person I am visiting to death, but I do not feel free to enjoy my time with them if I am uncomfortable. The attitude of “you’re visiting me, not my house” makes no sense, because they are inseparable, and I’ve always believed a good host/hostess genuinely cares about their guest’s well-being and comfort. No one enjoys using a dirty bathroom for example, but for a guest to have to use a toilet that has noticeable urine/pubic hair from someone else plastered to it is actually disgusting. It literally takes minutes to clean and disinfect a toilet. Come on!

There is of course a difference between a house that is lived in and has some clutter, to a house that is neglected and a petri dish for bacteria. I have often seen families who claim the first when it is really the second, because they don’t like cleaning up after themselves and refuse to admit it. It is one thing to have toys strewn across the floor, and another to have three months accumulation of grime along those floors from lack of washing. There is a noticeable difference. Cooking in a dirty kitchen is not appealing for most people for example, which is why keeping regular maintenance on kitchen tools and surfaces is always a good idea (never mind being more sanitary). Would you eat in a restaurant that had noticeably dirty floors and utensils? Probably not, because it signals that other things may be neglected as well that can cause health risks. The same rules apply in homes, only with some leniency as parents ARE busy people, but the responsibilities to their environment still apply as well.

The reality is that it still needs to be done and I for one feel that we deserve to be in a clean and relaxing environment, so stop avoiding it and take care of business. Believe me it makes a difference to everyone, especially to the children who are always watching and learning from our behaviors and attitudes. 

Pregnant with AS

So apparently the universe deemed that it would be awesome if I got some more drama in my life and decided to gift me with a rare (for women) form of arthritis. Yay! <----sarcasm

After a plethora of fruitless testing by my physician for everything we could think of that could explain why I always felt like an old lady, I was referred to a rheumatologist who assessed me physically and sent me for some specialised blood tests that came back positive as markers for ANKYLOSING SPONDYLITIS!!!! Coupled with the amount of pain I live with daily, my limits in physical mobility, and the noticeable damage to some of my bone structure, I was diagnosed with this auto-immune disease that apparently has no cure, which is, you know, GREAT. <----also sarcasm

Essentially this condition causes inflammation of the ligaments, tendons and other tissue surrounding the sacroiliac joints (where the spine attaches to the pelvis), but can also affect other areas as well in some unlucky people. The resulting pain and stiffness is usually caused by the eventual fusing of the vertebra as a means of healing itself by transforming the muscle ligaments to bone. In its severe forms, it can cause a forward curvature of the upper torso which can severely alter my ability to breathe properly and make me look garishly unattractive. The structural changes to the spine can also place pressure on the nerves that control digestion which can lead to irritable bowel syndrome, Crohn's disease or other bowel abnormalities. It is essentially my body attacking itself because it’s crazy like that.

Luckily for me, it isn’t all that advanced, but we don’t know the extent of the damage to my hips and spine until I get an MRI after this baby is born. Unlucky for me, since I am pregnant and plan on nursing, there is no pain medication that is safe for me to take at this time so I must just grin and bear it. Not that I would take pain meds anyways, since the side effects are worse than seeking alternative methods. The good news is that it should not affect my pregnancy or birth on its own. Based on the info I have found online, women with AS are pushed into c-sections for the same reasons normal women are, which for the most part are unnecessary (if you are a birth/pregnancy junkie like me and read prolifically on birthing politics/practices and notice these things) and so I must just avoid the practices that can lead to them. An interesting tidbit though is that anesthesiologists who are aware of the AS will often refuse to give epidural anesthesia due to the risk of further damaging the spine and causing paralysis. It may explain the nerve damage I have from the one that was given to me during Leo’s birth. I will have to mention this to my birth team so that it isn’t even offered as an option. It is also important that I birth in positions that will help widen my hips, since flexibility in that region can be affected by my AS, so no supine position for me, especially since it is very painful for me to lay on my back as it is. Other than that, birthing this baby should be fine, as long as no other health complications crop up.

So, now that I know what my problem is, how do I go about this then? What is suggested as the most effective treatment of AS is consistent exercise, especially yoga-type stretches/movements that will maintain mobility and proper posture. I do this normally, which is why my rheumatologist tells me that I am more flexible than normal standards, never mind for AS standards. The other suggestion is altering my diet considerably by limiting/eliminating inflammatory foods like starches and adopting a gluten-free, whole-foods, alkalising lifestyle. This is easier said than done and it also means all my comfort foods must now be avoided. Oi. Which as sucky as this sounds, I am somewhat relieved that this is an option since I’ve been moving towards eating like this anyways, now it has just become a necessity. It might help motivate me a little.

Overall I am miffed that I have this disease, at the same time I’m glad that I now know why I feel like crap all the time and that it isn’t anything I have done or am not doing that is causing my discomfort.

For the record, it still blows.